Eyebrow Issues
by Lecterscake
Summary: Blaine gets called early in the morning by Kurt, with some eyebrow issues. This is just for fun, DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Hey! This is me and my friend Robyn. Blaine's eyebrows were just really bugging us and we decided to write a fanfic on it.**

Blaine awoke at four in the morning from "Baby, It's cold outside", belting out of his phone. Groggily, Blaine picked up his phone and pressed answer.

"Hello?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Blaine."

"Kurt."

"Blaine."

"Kurt, WHAT?"

"Blaine, we need to talk."

"What, now?" Blaine complained.

"Meet me at the Lima Bean in six hours," and Kurt cut off.

Bewildered, Blaine sighed and pulled the duvet back over him and fell back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kurt sat alone at his table at the Lima Bean. He took a sip of his Grande non-fat mocha and heaved a deep sigh.

Suddenly, Blaine rushed in the door and spotted Kurt sitting at their usual table at the back of the cafe.

"Kurt! What's wrong? What happened? Did your Dad have another heart attack? Are you dying? Did Marc Jacobs die? Did your issue of Patti Lu Pone's new book get ruined?" Blaine fired at him.

"No Blaine, shut it." Kurt snapped.

"Ok, ok, no need to be snappy."

Kurt sighed again and gestured to Blaine to sit down. "Take a seat, Blaine."

"I need to talk to you about something very, VERY serious," Kurt continued as Blaine sat down opposite him.

"Did your Mum come back to life?"

"Ok, seriously Blaine, shut up! Look, I'm breaking up with you."

Blaine gasped and clutched his hand to his chest. "But, but – I love you! You can't do this!"

"It's not you, it's me. Well, it is _partly _you. Actually it's pretty much _all_ you." Kurt looked down awkwardly, unable to bear Blaine's hurt and bewildered expression.

"What is it? What can possibly be wrong? I'm amazing!" Blaine blurted.

Kurt forced himself to look into Blaine's eyes. "It's your eyebrows. They're...triangular." Kurt averted his gaze away from again and choked back a sob.

"What's wrong with them, triangles are cool! I'm Harry freakin' Potter! I'm totally awesome!

"I'm sorry Blaine, either shave the eyebrows or we're OVER!" Kurt got up to leave, leaving behind a thoroughly depressed Blaine.

"Kurt, I can change! Trust me! I love you!" Blaine managed to exclaim through his cascade of tears.

**Just to let you know, we DO actually love Darren Criss! He is supermegafoxyawesomehot! It's just his eyebrows we cannot stand. Who can guess where the quotes in line 14 are from?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was a dark and stormy night.

Blaine picked up the razor. (Dun dun DUN!) If this was what he had to do to get Kurt to love him again, he would do it.

He stared it straight in the eye, eye to blade, and said bravely, "let's do this biatch."

Slowly and steadily, Blaine dragged the razor across his triangular eyebrows.

_One, two, three, _Blaine counted in his head. _This isn't actually half bad_, he thought, _this is actually quite fun! Wait 'til the rest of the Warblers get a load of this!_

He started humming along to the electrical buzz of the razor.

"Blaine, what are you doing in there?" His Dad called from the living room, hearing the loud vibration.

"Nothing, Dad!" Blaine called, taking his eyes off of the mirror for a second.

And before Blaine knew it, his eyebrows were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Blaine stepped out of his SUV the next morning, rocking his new look.

He walked into the warbler choir room, where Jeff was busting out his new dance moves.

"Hey Jeff! You've got some serious sweet moves." Blaine greeted him.

Jeff blushed a deep scarlet and looked up to see that Blaine's eyebrows...had disappeared.

"Bah!" Jeff yelled in shock. "Blaine, where are your eyebrows?"

"I shaved them for Kurt! Don't they look awesome?" Blaine's face fell slightly.

"Err, yeah, they look...awesome." Jeff lied.

"Thanks man! Well, I gotta go show Kurt and see if he wants me back yet."

"I bet he does," Jeff added sarcastically under his breath.

Blaine turned away, leaving Jeff back to his rehearsal.

But he was stopped in his tracks by David, who caught him by the arm and muttered, "Dude, you do know you've got no eyebrows, right?"

"Why of course!" He replied enthusiastically. "Jeff _loves _it. You do too, right?"

"Erm, I'm not gonna lie here, but you look like an alien baby." David said truthfully. Blaine gasped and clutched a hand to his chest.

"Oh yeah? Well _you _are acting like Garfield on a Monday! And I bet you that Wes loves them! Good day!" Blaine strutted off to the council's table.

David was still frozen in shock, unable to believe what Blaine had said to him.

"Hey Wes." Blaine was still quite distraught after finding out that his missing eyebrows were not loved by everyone.

Wes eyed him carefully, studying his brow. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Wes finally replied. "What have you done with Blaine?" he murmured menacingly.

"What do you mean? I _am _Blaine...just with no eyebrows."

"I repeat; what have you done with Blaine?"

"Erm, did someone slip something in your cereal today? Again, I _am_ Blaine.

Wes hesitated for a second, and then picked up his gavel, stroking it lovingly.

"What the _hell _are you doing?" Blaine said.

Wes smiled evilly, and whispered to his gavel, "let's get him, Mr Bangy!"

"You named your gavel Mr Bangy?" Blaine whispered, who was backing up against the wall as Wes slowly stepped towards him, gavel raised high.

Wes ignored him and brought down Mr Bangy, and started chasing Blaine around the Warblers choir room.

"Ouch, Wes, OUCH! Get off me! I'm not an alien, trust me!" But Wes continued to hit him with the gavel, while Blaine kept yelling at the top of his voice.

"Wes, stop, STOP!" Blaine sighed in relief as the familiar voice reached his ears, and Kurt came running into the room and yanked the gavel out of Wes' shaking hands.

"You could have killed him, you imbecile! No matter that he looks completely _stupid _with no eyebrows, you shouldn't have hit him with your precious gavel!" Kurt shrieked, glaring at Wes.

"His name is Steve Bangy. And I'm sorry but I _thought _that he was an alien! It was an easy mistake to make."

Kurt sighed and grabbed Blaine's hand, leading him to the boy's bathroom.

"We have some serious work to do, my friend." Kurt said once Blaine was sitting on a chair opposite the mirrors. Kurt pulled out a small, black eyebrow pencil and began to fill in the catastrophe that was Blaine's missing eyebrows.

"There!" he said once he was done. Blaine looked in the mirror and gasped, a tear forming at the corner of his eye.

"They're triangular! You _do _love me!" Blaine cried, wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck, enveloping him in a tight hug.

"Well, I decided that I can't control you, no matter how ugly your eyebrows are." Kurt admitted, shrugging.

"Oh, Kurt!" Blaine said, kissing him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**This is the final chapter guys! It is a texting conversation between Kurt and Blaine and they are back together (Yay!).**

**Blaine:** Say it

**Kurt:** Say what?

**Blaine:** You know...

**Kurt:** No way in _hell_ am I saying that!

**Blaine:** Come on...

**Kurt:** No

**Blaine:** Plz?

**Kurt:** No

**Blaine:** Pretty plz?

**Kurt:** No

**Blaine:** For me?

**Kurt:** Fine. Your eyebrows are supermegafoxyawesomehot.

**Blaine:** And?

**Kurt:** And...You are totally awesome. Happy?

**Blaine:** Not quite. And?

**Kurt:** Rumbleroar is real. Happy now?

**Blaine:** Yes. That wasn't so hard was it?

**Kurt:** Hmph

**Blaine:** If it makes you feel better, my eyebrows aren't growing back in triangles. :(

**Kurt:** That officially makes you the best boyfriend EVER.

**Blaine:** *blushing*

**Blaine:** Tomorrow I am transferring to Pigfarts to be with you!

**Kurt:** McKinley, Blaine. You are transferring to McKinley.

**Blaine:** Awesome. Now I don't need a rocket ship.

**Kurt:** Why would you need a rocket ship?

**Blaine:** Because Pigfarts is on mars!

**Kurt:** ?

**Blaine**: Pig farts is only the greatest Wizarding School in the galaxy!

**Kurt:** Right. Anyway, what song are you singing for your glee audition tomorrow? I was thinking a Broadway classic, maybe from Gypsy. And you will have to be dressed correctly. Do not panic – I have _plenty_ of ideas.

**Blaine:** *sighs*

**Kurt:** What's wrong?

**Blaine:** I've already decided on a song to sing and I'm not wearing any feathers...

**Kurt:** Who said anything about feathers?

**Blaine:** Never mind. I'm going to wear my normal red cardigan and sing California Girls.

**Blaine:** Kurt...

**Blaine:** Kurt...

**Blaine:** Kurt!

**Blaine:** KURT!

**Blaine:** I'm sorry...

**Blaine:** Kurt...

**Blaine:** And I'll sing Gypsy...

**Kurt:** I love you.

**Blaine:** And I love you too...I guess.

**Kurt:** *blushing*

**Blaine:** What is Gypsy anyway?

**Kurt:** *face palm*

**Kurt:** It's your turn to say it now.

**Blaine:** What?

**Kurt:** You know...

**Blaine:** NO WAY!

**Kurt:** I said what you wanted me to say...it's your turn now...*evil laugh*

**Blaine:** If this happens again I will never speak to you ever again Kurt Hummel.

**Kurt:** Say it...

**Blaine:** Katy Perry sucks and Patti Lu Pone rules all.

**Kurt:** Hehehehehe

**Blaine:** I hate you.

**Kurt:** I know

**Blaine:** Maybe I will go to Pigfarts...

**Kurt:** Fine. I give in. You can sing and wear whatever you want and I will love you forever.

**Blaine:** ;)

**Kurt:** Oh no...

**Blaine:** ?

**Kurt:** Here comes Rachel and Finn...

**Blaine:** So?

**Kurt:** I'm sick of all the cutesy nonsense!

**Blaine: **Kurty...

**Blaine:** Kurt!

**Blaine:** Have you died in a tornado of rainbow sweetness?

**Kurt:** Crap. We're double dating with Finchel tomorrow at Breadstix.

**Blaine:** How bad can it be?

**Kurt:** You'll see. First they start making doey eyes at each other across the table, then they start talking cute, THEN they make out like you're not even there. I've seen too much. *shudder*

**Blaine:** I can't go out. *cough cough* I'm sick.

**Kurt:** Seconded.

**Blaine:** Well we can't both be sick. How about you're the sick puppy and I'm taking care of you?

**Kurt:** Sounds good. We're out.

**Blaine:** Wanna go to the movies instead?

**Kurt:** Sure. See you at six.

**THE END**

**There you have it! Please leave a review.**


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